I literally cannot think of a proper title

I have recently been reading a lot of Elisabeth Elliot books. She is my favorite author because she is so wise and truthful. She has this amazing ability to point everything back to God's truth, and I am always encouraged when I finish reading. Some of what I read has made me think a lot. One of the main things I have pondered is the wonder of being a woman and the fact that woman was created for the man because God, in His infinite plan, knew that Adam should not be alone.

Elisabeth Elliot is a very conservative lady, and she was raised in a completely different generation than I. She tells the story of her first date. The rules were simple: boy asks girl, he has a plan for the evening, he is a gentleman, he asks her parents' permission, and gets her home by curfew. Also, there were other old-fashioned rules that applied of course. Later, she went on to say that her daddy told her brothers that if he was ready to tell a girl he loved her then he better be ready to marry her. Apparently they stuck to this little rule of thumb. I think I agree...

I read this and think it sounds great. If only things were like they used to be. Now we have this awkward dating scene, where we go into it seeing what we can get from it, and don't think about the long term affects it will have on our lives. I wish somebody would have stopped me from dating my first two boyfriends. And the last two relationships are not a better story. I wish things could be simple. I wish I didn't give my heart away and follow my emotions instead of God's will. I can't change the past and God is good, but I was done with trying to find 'a guy' and looking for the wrong type of guy yet justifying that he was 'good for me'. I wish somebody would have told me to stop chasing boys, because it is not our job to initiate. God is in control, and everything is great when it is according to God's perfect order. It glorifies our Creator when we live as He intended us to live.

I have been single for the last five years. Most of the time I remained content, but there were a lot of moments recently where I wondered when, or if, a guy would ever approach me. I believe that is the mans job, and I had to patiently wait for that to happen. Imagine my surprise when a guy approached me after church. He did it more than once, and ever since I met him he has initiated everything. What in the world is going on? Seriously, I was confused by it because finally a guy was doing things right. We became friends and are now a couple. Oh, and I still let him initiate because that is still the mans job.

I want God's will and not mine. How many times have I said that and not held up my end? But God is working in our lives and I trust in His perfect will, and I am thankful!

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all-how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32

Sickness

Wow. What a day. I have been so sick with sinuses and other things this week that I needed a day of rest. I am tired...and I am sick. Sick of being tired, tired of being sick. For some reason the Lord has me thinking about being a mom today. I turned the t.v. on at lunch and during the day there are so many commercials targeted to stay at home moms. Also, some of my facebook friends are stay at home moms and I love reading their status updates.

I think about my friends who are single and in school. We are in seminary because we are seeking God's will and preparing for ministry. But isn't ministry for women within the home and the church? My heart's desire is to be a wife and mom. My heart's desire is also to disciple and teach women the Bible. Great news, my heart's desire is exactly what God calls women to do. I just long for the day when I'm home, chasing little stinkers around and freaking out because I'm really tired and have flour in my hair and my kids making messes in every room in the house. That will be the day!!

Marriage and Ministry

Sometimes I do not know what to say. I have a lot on my mind, not all of which needs to be shared with the world. Right now I am remembering a conversation that I had with my teenage girls at camp last year. We talked about ministry, and if we are called into full time ministry does that mean we should marry a man called to ministry? I think I had asked myself that very question before. I came to the conclusion that we probably should. But is that a command? Could I marry a man who had no desire to do ministry? We all minister as Christians, but I mean full time, devoted-to-for-life ministry. This is my calling, and I think it would be difficult to be a helper to a man not called to ministry.

1 Timothy tells us that an elder, or overseer, must be a man who is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and a man that manages his family with dignity (1 Tim 3). He must not be a recent convert and he must be well thought of by outsiders. If you were to be a wife of a man like this, wouldn't you also be expected to share in these qualities? I think, and do not know from experience, that marriages that are successful are successful because they have the same goal in life-to glorify God with their marriage. It makes sense to spend the rest of your life with a person that has similar goals and desires.

One of the girls in the group that asked that question is now engaged. She is a missionary and a woman who fears God. I am a lot older than her, but I think it's great that she has found a man to share in ministry and life. How cool is that? I know there is a time for everything...and I am trusting in God's perfect plan for my life. Jesus has not failed me yet, nor will He!